On our 4 year anniversary, I thought I’d share 4 thoughts as I reflect back on our life together…
We are stronger together than a part.
As a (fairly) independent woman, I know this can make people cringe. But I really believe it. I am my better self with Kyle than alone. We each have our strengths & weaknesses, and while the old saying “opposites attract” is somewhat true, I’d rather say that our differences complement each other. Kyle helps me relax & chill out, and not take life too seriously. He gets me to laugh & have fun. He does the house work, takes care of the lawn (you should just see our lawn watering system he hooked up…) & kills the bugs. I make sure our family gets remembered every birthday & holiday. I keep us organized & pay the bills. I plan our adventures and make sure we continue to grow & explore. The sum is greater than the parts, and it’s important to recognize where your strengths or weaknesses are and what you contribute to the relationship. And it’s important to know your spouse’s & your shortcomings so it doesn’t cause argument after argument. Embrace the differences.
Life is only as complicated as you make it.
I have a natural tendency to over-complicate everything. I’m a naturally stressed out person. But after 4 years being married to probably the least stressed out person I’ve ever met, I think he’s starting to wear off on me! I’m slowly realizing that our life is only as complicated as we make it. The beauty of adulthood is making our own rules. There are always tough choices: whose career to follow, where to live, can we afford the life we want, when to start a family, and can we really “do it all”? But each day, we wake up together excited to share the life that we have built & continue to build. There’s no sense thinking about the would’ve, could’ve, should’ve. We have a great, blessed life and as long as we’re together (as cliche as it sounds) it’s all going to work out.
Moving from our hometown was the best decision we’ve made.
Kyle & I really miss the Midwest. Our short stint in Chicago left us wanting more, but alas we ended up back in Philadelphia. Moving out here right after college & marriage was the best decision we could have made even though it didn’t always seem that way. It forced us to become our own family. We had no friends. We had no idea where anything was. It was an entirely new adventure and allowed us to grow and learn together. If we ever had a disagreement, we couldn’t leave to vent with friends, we had to face it together. We’ve been able to explore so much of the US by moving out here, and these are some of my favorite memories. We love thinking back to our trip to Portland, Maine or to the Cape, or all the soccer stadiums we’ve been able to visit. We love that these 4 years being “away” from our hometowns has allowed us to start our own home & family. If you’re given the opportunity to move away right after marriage, I highly recommend it – it could be the best decision you make.
Marry your best friend.
I know a lot of people want to marry the guy who is a challenge. The guy who is a mystery. The guy who makes you crazy. Because the highs outweigh the lows and the rollercoaster of emotion is “more fun” than predictability. So you think…My advice: marry your best friend. Marry the guy that doesn’t make you overthink and over analyze every.single.move. Marry the guy who is honest & genuine. Marry the guy who is perfect to you today, not who you think will be perfect tomorrow. Marry the guy who loves you unconditionally, not the guy you have to pry love out of. Marry the guy who wants to spend as much time with you as you do. Marry your best friend, because 60 years from now, that’s all you’ll want by your side: your best friend.
Happy anniversary, Kyle. There’s no one else I’d rather be sharing this life with!